Intelligent Happiness

I smile a lot. Everyone who has met me knows that. People have asked me, seriously, if I'm ever not happy. The answer if yes. And, actually, I cry a lot. Though not everyone who has met me knows that. I've spent a lot of time being frustrated, and hurt, and scared, and stressed. I'd rather spend that time being happy, so you would think I might have some patience with the idea that happiness is a choice that you could make logically. So why was it that when the author of a book I just finished used the phrase "intelligent happiness" in the closing sentence, it nearly ruined the book for me? What was it about that choice of words that put me off?

I dislike the idea of "intelligent happiness". Somehow it feels paradoxical to me, that true smiles come unbidden, but I've been struggling to decide why. I persistently maintain that optimism is an acquirable skill. I think anyone can learn to see the best in things if they practice. And I often ask people what will always make them smile. It's important knowledge, whether it's a small thing like a chocolate chip cookie or a night contra dancing or a run down a ski hill. In fact, I think it's better if you can name more things that make you smile in case some are weather or health or travel dependent. And these are types of "intelligent happiness". And the success of solving a difficult math problem or writing an essay well could be another type of "intelligent happiness", and personally, I love those feelings. But I still chafe at the phrase. It seems to ignore a deeper feeling: joy.

The glee of flying off a sled in the snow. Of floating downstream and catching the eddy back upriver on your pre-breakfast swim. Of looking at a peak and knowing you climbed to the top. Of being swept off your feet and spun in circles by your best friend just because he missed you all summer. The grin that inexplicably crosses your face and refuses to leave.

There's a purity to these moments, fleeting though they may be. And maybe all that "intelligent happiness" means is making yourself open to these moments. Maybe it's just learning to think positively and to find hobbies you're passionate about and to surround yourself with meaningful people so that you increase your chances of catching a joyful moment. Maybe it's knowing that you should take a day off and go hiking, even if you don't know why puffing your way up a steep hill will make your day brighter.

I still dislike the phrase. I don't think you can reason your way into being happy. But I think you can know yourself well enough to maximize your odds.

So you tell me, what will always make you smile?